Upon the release of the iconic sunglasses, Nessy’s Midnight Orgy, the inspiration behind these re-imagined shades, there was a historic sighting of dear Queen Nessy in Echo Park Lake, Los Angeles. The sighting led to feelings of extreme arousal by all onlookers. It was at this time that Nessy’s aphrodisiac qualities were first discovered in the United States. Read about the orgy that ensued here

Since that glorious day, sadly, Nessy seems to have retreated back to the deep uncharted channels of Echo Park Lake— as there have been no further recorded sightings. Researchers believe that these great depths form an underground network for all water-faring prehistoric beasts to dwell and travel. It seems likely that these magnificent creatures have found a way to visit famous lochs around the world all while flying under even the most powerful radar. In fact, waves have been made in Burlington Vermont’s Lake Champlain, where rumor has it Miss Nessy has been enjoying some foul play with the infamous lake monster Champ. 

Waves of epic proportions were witnessed six nautical miles from shore in a zone where waves could not simply “magically appear.” We can only hope that these old dino-legends are enjoying some good ‘ol innocent sex on the loch. Not only for their own sheer pleasure (heck, everyone deserves a good orgasm!), but so future generations can continue to revel in history’s greatest monster mysteries.

Man riding lochness monster with blue goodrs on