The following is an unpublished article from the National Enquirer which goodr obtained through the use of its many clandestine contacts and a paper bag full of unmarked, non-sequential dollar bills. In order to commemorate this find (and shade your eye holes from the blinding truth in the article), we have also created a special pair of sunglasses dubbed “Requiem for a Longneck.”

ENQUIRER EXCLUSIVE!

ORIGINAL ‘LAND BEFORE TIME’ SCRIPT WAS WRITTEN BY DARREN ARONOFSKY AS AN ALLEGORY FOR THE US DRUG EPIDEMIC.

Shocking origin story of a beloved children’s classic!

By National ENQUIRER Staff | Dec 2, 2004 @ 12:54PM


Los Angeles – Our intrepid reporters have uncovered SHOCKING news that the beloved children’s classic “Land Before Time” was originally a Darren Aronofsky script that had much darker imagery and themes meant to comment on the growing US drug epidemic in the 1980s.  

Aronofsky’s original script, had all of the same characters that made the film popular with children, however, his script had Littlefoot’s mother being killed by a drug overdose, rather than the Tyrannosaurus Rex (referred to as a “Sharptooth” in the movie).  In fact, the whole adult population of dinosaurs in Littlefoot’s home area were decimated by drug use, which would have been the impetus for Littlefoot and his friends having to leave their home to find the Green Place.

Additionally, while Aronofsky’s script also had the Sharptooth chasing Littlefoot in his movie, instead of simply wishing to eat Littlefoot, the Sharptooth in Aronofsky’s movie was trying to get them hooked on drugs.  In true Aronofsky style, there is no happy ending for Littlefoot and his friends as they all eventually succumb to various addictions pushed on them by the Sharptooth.  

The world never saw this version of the Land Before Time, as Aronofsky’s script was purchased by a group that included George Lucas.  As George is want to do, he watered down Aronofsky’s script to make it more palatable to children so he could sell toys and other merchandise.

Darren Aronofsky did not respond to inquiries regarding this story.