POOL PARTY PREGAME (Or: HOW NOT TO DO VEGAS)
- Wake up at 9 a.m. after having rolled in from the club as the sun rose.
- Pack up a six pack of room-temp beers (from your liquor store run with your rideshare from the airport yesterday).
- Go to the pool. No one else is there. The music is soft rock.
- Drink five of the beers.
- Pass out.
- Wake up to your friends (who woke up at 1 p.m.) offering you a $25 pina colada in a yard glass. The music is bumping club vibes.
- Drink pina colada yard drink.
- Dive ass-first into the pool (colloquially known as a cannonball)
- Get reprimanded by the lifeguard.
- Order another pina colada yard drink.
- Order a hamburger and fries which you destroy 3/4 of in 3 min flat.
- Shotgun last beer.
- Pass out again.
- Wake up cold. Your friends are gone. The music is off.
- Finish hamburger and fries.
- Check time. It’s 6:11 p.m. Your phone is at 5%.
- Text from friends. Meet in the lobby at 6:30 for dinner before the show.
- Stumble into a casino in your bathing suit. Get asked to cover up.
- Order a red bull at the casino bar. $9.
- Chug red bull.
- Get to the room at 6:29 because that’s how long it takes to get to your room in Vegas.
- Your phone dies.
- Pass out or rally. It’s up to you.
