Petition Summary and Background
For 73 years Pluto was just hangin’ with his eight buddies from the ceiling of some museums. Then out of goddamn nowhere a certain “Dr.” (whom we shall not name here) comes in with his three-criteria bullshit and says size really does matter.
Action Petitioned For
We, the undersigned, are concerned citizens who urge our leaders to act now to officially give Pluto it’s planetary status back! It is large enough to hold its cute little round shape, it goes around the sun just like it’s supposed to, and nine is just a way better number than eight.