It’s like bro, you show up 8 minutes late to class and then take a phat {insert poop emoji} before the WOD. The trainer is trying to explain the workout and make sure everyone has what they need and you go all Houdini and disappear into the bathroom. Yeah, whatever, “nature calls…” Well bro, if you were here earlier, “nature” would’ve called earlier, and then the whole class wouldn’t have to smell your “nature” while their sweating their faces off; huffing and puffing, gasping for tainted air during the METCON. Oh what’s a METCON you ask? It stands for metabolic conditioning, which consists of repeated or sustained high intensity training with short rests– if any really. So yeah, breathing in thick steamy butt air from the individual that showed up late to class and then made us late to start the WOD is less than ideal. Don’t worry though, we’ve got a punishment for you.

Here is the oh so classic CrossFit METCON, Cindy, with a twist:

Complete as many rounds in 20 minutes as you can of:

5 Pull-ups

10 Push-ups

15 Squats

HOWEVER, between each round you must eat 9 Swedish meatballs. 

Yeah, good luck cheating your way to your PR now buddy. You might want to consider booking some training sessions with Takeru Kobayaski, known as the Godfather of competitive eating. This dude has the record for scarfing down the most IKEA meatballs in one minute. A whopping 29 in a 2010 eating competition in Brooklyn, New York. And while you’re at it, buy these METCONing for Meatballs yellow and blue BEAST goodr sunglasses, because you’ll need those reflective lenses to hide the tears in your eyes while you try to hold back the puke. Namaste.

yellow crossfit polarized sunglasses