The year was 1993; the Macarena was taking the entire globe by storm and a sax-playing president was about to be sworn into office. That is also the same year that two German-born powerhouses were climbing the ranks of the body-building world, Ferdinand and Olrich. After conquering their motherland, they set their sights on the good ol’ U. S. of A. They heard great stories from their mentor about the gyms of Southern California. Gyms filled with fitness contraptions that humanoids of the future will look at and think are torture devices.
After getting so jacked that they no longer fit through standard doors and saving all the money they could, they bought one-way tickets to NYC and never looked back. Upon arrival to a new land, they planned a trek across the country in a rusty old VW bus. They mapped their route around bodybuilding competitions. After dominating every competition from Woonsocket, Rhode Island, to Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, they finally reached Los Angeles, California.
Miscalculating the country’s obscene gas prices, and both requiring diets of 10,000 calories daily to maintain their bulk, they blew through their prize money and savings. They were starving.
Dating back to the 1880s, legend has it that some of the best Mexican food in LA was served up by a group of ladies known as The Chili Queens. The Queens were known as a way of sampling the taste of something exotic. There was something dark and devilish, yet tasty, about The Chili Queens. The beauty of it all, Mexican food is cheap, and Ferdinand and Olrich were ready to chow down and chat up some women. If they were lucky, maybe they’d even be able to smooth talk their way back to The Queen’s apartments… the boys could use a hot shower, and let’s face it, #vanlife was not as it seemed… especially for two massive dudes…
It took some time to track down an authentic street cart run by The Chili Queens, but Ferdinand and Olrich knew it was worth the hassle in so many ways. The Queens were gorgeous, with glowing skin and thick dark hair. Ferdinand and Olrich laid their flirt game on strong while The Queens prepared their meals. Little did the guys know that two plates of tacos and a side of avocado salsa were about to change their entire fitness trajectory. The Queens are true taco sirens. One bite of the taco and magical sauce and Ferdinand and Olrich were hooked. With only pennies in their pockets, they sold their souls to The Chili Queens and never lifted anything but a taco to their faces ever again.
In the spirit of Ferdinand and Olrich, you too can now have tacos on your face all day every day with these teal-lensed, taco-printed green polarized sunglasses!
BONUS: Every pair of goodr sunglasses purchased from Carl’s Anti-Resolutions line comes with a secret code to unlock a series of surefire-to-not-get-you-fit workout videos produced by our CEO/Influencer Carl the Flamingo himself! Ferdinand and Olrich approve from hell. Whether or not there are tacos there, well, you’ll have to find out for yourself.