Some may know the song “I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Ice Cream” as a happy novelty tune– iconic even, inspiring musical talents for nearly a century. It is even referenced as a mission in Grand Theft Auto III.
However, like most historical tales, there is a part of the story that never gets told. The first ice-cream-like food was eaten in China sometime around 618 to 97 AD. Using buffalo milk, flour, and a tree oil. Ninety four “ice men” working for King Tang Shang created this concoction. Employing 94 men to make ice cream, seems excessive, but if King Tang Shang enjoys the creamy goodness as much as we do, it’s probably a necessary move to keep up with personal demand.
Ice cream continued to be a bit of an ordeal when Roman emperors sent slaves to mountain tops to bring back fresh snow to be flavored. Another early form of ice cream. This is actually when the jingle we’re all so familiar with was invented. The Roman slaves, dedicated to pleasing their emperor, did not have proper protection against the elements when climbing to these snowy peaks to collect the icy goods. The pelting hail burned their faces, and the glowing white powder caused irreversible snow blindness. A handful of clever Roman slaves turned to primitive forms of polarized sunglasses to protect their precious vision from being gone for good.
During the voyage the slaves chanted, “Eyes scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!” They weren’t referencing a jolly childish shriek for sweets, their eyes were legitimately screaming in agony. Frostbitten toes and fingers were just a part of the job. The emperor screamed for more ice cream, but not in a cute way. There was hanger in his tone. His appetite could not be quenched… after all, he was basically just eating snow…
In honor of the sacrifices from early ice cream chefs and the gluttonous rulers that inspired such great innovation, goodr developed these white ice cream cone patterned sunglasses with ice blue lenses. We are forever grateful for the modern ice cream aisle at the grocery store. Stock up your freezers and start pounding pints.
* Note: Every pair of goodr sunglasses purchased from Carl’s Anti-Resolutions line comes with a secret code to unlock a series of surefire-to-not-get-you-fit workout videos produced by our CEO/Influencer Carl the Flamingo himself!
** Another note: There are three truths and several lies here. Can you figure out what’s fact and what’s fiction?