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Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

THEEEY’RE DEAD (CEREAL KILLERS ORIGIN STORY)

“Theeey’re great!” No they aren’t. Toni honestly didn’t even know what they were talking about. Scratch off lottery tickets? Canned chicken? Complimentary floss from the dentist? Fish tacos? Truck stops with free showers? << Those last two are pretty great....

Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

NATURAL BORN KRISPIES (CEREAL KILLERS ORIGIN STORY)

It was 1:28 in the morning. Snort, Chortle, and Plop waited at Krustee’s Diner for their meals. They had been out all night celebrating their cereal’s victorious second to last place win at the International Cereal Convention. The only time...

Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

SON OF TOUCAN SAM (CEREAL KILLERS ORIGIN STORY)

Toucan Sam has always been an odd duck. goodr CEO, Carl the Flamingo, actually met her once, way back, at the flamboyance reunion. Carl’s second cousin’s uncle had adopted little Sammy, taking her under his wing. Literally. Carl knew there...

Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

HEARTS, STARS, AND ZODIAC SCARS (CEREAL KILLERS ORIGIN STORY)

Carl LaMingo had been staring at the note for an hour and didn’t feel like he understood it any better than when he first saw the thing. In fact, he felt like he understood it less. He would have to...

Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

APPLE JACK THE RIPPER (CEREAL KILLERS ORIGIN STORY)

LONDON DAILY POST Friday Evening, November 9, 1888 "APPLE JACK THE RIPPER" CONTINUES TO TERRORIZE LONDON Scotland Yard Investigates London’s Most Infamous Criminal Whitechapel, London. Apple Jack the Ripper was plying his trade again early this morning of...

Carl the Flamingo In Origin Stories

ALWAYS TAKE CANDY FROM STRANGERS ORIGIN STORY

McCarl the Crime Flamingo Halloween Safety Tips and Maze Shop Now

Carl the Flamingo In Origin Stories

WHAT’S IN THE BOX??!! (CEREAL KILLERS ORIGIN STORY)

The wind blew relentlessly across the desert landscape. It did nothing to cool Detective Carl F. LaMingo, though. Carl hated the heat. He hated the desert. Nothing good happened out here. Carl scanned the horizon, but the only movement he...

Carl the Flamingo In Origin Stories

THREE PARTS TEE (BUNKER BIOPTICS | GOLF ORIGIN STORY)

Classic Arnold Palmer Lemonade. 1 cup sugar. 1 3/4 cups water. 4 large, juicy lemons. 4 cups of brown tees. 1 family-sized black iced tea bag, 4 cups water. Arnold Palmer. Ice cubes. 3/4 cup Black Tea (above) 1/4 cup...

Carl the Flamingo In Origin Stories

BIGFOOT FERNET SWEATS (BIG F*CKING ORIGIN STORY)

Bigfoot Sightings Decline Explained Associat'd Press March 16, 2012 In recent months, sightings of Bigfoot (Grandispodiadae) have begun to wane, much to the dismay of the world’s top pseudoscientists. A recent article by Dr. Harry Henderson, PhD in Beasteology, published...

Carl the Flamingo In Origin Stories

TANGIER’S REWARDS MEMBER (BIG F*CKING ORIGIN STORY)

An EXCLUSIVE offer for Tangier's Rewards Members! Shop Now

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