Chief Publishing Pelican, Author at goodr

Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

ICED BY SAS-SQUAT ORIGIN STORY

The Squatch (that’s what the cool kids are calling Sasquatch these days), he don’t care about your poor ankle flexibility. If those squats aren’t below parallel, you’re getting iced. Depending on his mood, he might start with a friendly no-rep...

Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

METCONING FOR MEATBALLS ORIGIN STORY

It’s like bro, you show up 8 minutes late to class and then take a phat {insert poop emoji} before the WOD. The trainer is trying to explain the workout and make sure everyone has what they need and you...

Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

DO YOU EVEN PISTOL, FLAMINGO? ORIGIN STORY

girl and boy at crossfit with pink sunglasses

It’s obvious that the flamingo would be the best at pistols in all of the animal kingdom. The flamingos around the world take so much pride in their pistoling ability that they hold The Flamingo CrossFit Games annually every August...

Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

THAT ORANGE CRUSH RUSH ORIGIN STORY

guy and girl working out with orange sunglasses on

It is no joke the rush you get from pounding a Crush orange soda before a kettlebell workout. That shit might not be caffeinated but it doesn’t matter. Achieve a bonus effect by shotgunning your Crush. Those 60 mg of...

Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

I WANNA SAX YOU UP ORIGIN STORY

[INSERT YOUR LOCAL NEWSPAPER’S NAME HERE] CUPID’S COLUMN March 13, 2020 I WANNA SAX YOU UP I’m a saxophonist looking for love. My nimble and supple fingers move along the keys with accuracy. I keep my reed moist...

Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

DRIPPIN’ WITH FRINGE ORIGIN STORY

FRINGE TAKES FIRST March 3, 2020 An old style has become a new rage in athletic apparel. Marathon runners, CrossFit athletes, cyclists, and even yogis have flipped the fashion tables by wearing form-fitting fringe dresses during their sport. From...

Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

YOU GATSBY KIDDING ME! ORIGIN STORY

IF YOU WEREN’T FORCED TO READ THE GREAT GATSBY IN SCHOOL GROWING UP, THERE ARE SPOILERS AHEAD. OR MAYBE YOU ONLY READ THE CLIFFS NOTES, IN WHICH CASE, THIS IS MUCH BETTER THAN THAT. It’s a tale as old as...

Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

L.A. MARATHON AFTER PARTY!!!

This Sunday, March 8th, WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE (if you’re in Los Angeles…)!!! It’s the L.A. Marathon, which gives us an excuse to throw a party! Upon completion of your race you’ll stumble across sign twirling...

Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

L’ART DECO SPEC-OS ORIGIN STORY

3 WAYS TO CREATE AN ART DECO BATHROOM So it’s time to remodel that bathroom of yours after the attempt to make bathtub gin resulted in Season 1; Episode 2 of Breaking Bad. May we suggest creating an Art Deco...

Chief Publishing Pelican In Origin Stories

DOWN AND SLEAZY AT THE SPEAKEASY ORIGIN STORY

MAKE YOUR OWN BATHTUB GIN There is only one way to assure a down and sleazy night at the speakeasy, and that my friend is all in the bathtub gin recipe. Make your own homebrew by following these steps exactly:...

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